29 April, 2007

The rocket science that is the American Football draft

Apologies for the time between this entry and the last one, for anyone who reads this stuff! I thought I should do a post on one of the vagaries of American Football, the draft.

Unlike other sports, young American players go to University, where they play for 3-4 years. This serves as a kind of apprenticeship. When I say "go to University", some of them are barely literate, so let's not dwell on that too much....

Teams hire scouts, who spend their lives watching videos, attending games, talking to coaches, team-mates and measuring people. So, guys who are 5'11 are too small, whereas guys who are 6'1 are OK. Right, take a ruler and measure out two inches. Yeah, exactly.

They then compile a list of players, who they think are good enough for the NFL, with notes like, "small town guy , but has a girlfriend who isn't his sister" I made up part of that quotation. Can you guess which bit?

It is one of the more exciting times of the year; you get a bunch of new players and get to see how they fit in the team. Will they make it through the cull that is training camp? Will they claim that the team is "disrespecting" them by only giving them a gazillion dollar contract? Will they mouth off in camp and get brought down by the veterans? Will they stare blankly at the play book, whilst the Coach realises that he should update his CV?

The team with the worst record gets first choice over whom they want to pick. They say, "we want him" and the have first rights over that guy. Refusing to play for team X is not the done thing, but it does happen from time to time.

Anyway, this process goes on for 7 rounds of 32 (as there are 32 teams in the NFL), with the worst team picking first in every round.

There is a selection meeting every April. It takes place over two days, is televised and fans are present.Today is the second day for this year. As it takes place in New York, they tend to be the shy, retiring types, who clap politely.Pundits who have never earned a dollar from an NFL team tell the world how crap the NFL is at its job. Some are right, but most know as much as I do, seemingly. They are joined by ex-players, who have at least played the game.

Then there's the horse trading. Team A picks at 15. They take Player A, but they also like Player B. Player B is still available at pick 28. So, they phone up team B and say:

A; "Hello, how are you today?"
b:" Hey, I'm fine thanks. How are you?"
A:"Yeah, I'm cool. The weather's a bit hot for this time of year"
B:"Liberal bull crap about global warming. It's nothing to worry about"
A:"(coughs) Can we have your pick?"
B: "No"
A: "Ah, go on, I'll be your best friend"
B:" If you give me a chocolate bar, then you can"
A: "How about our First next year and a third this year?"
B: "I'll call you back. Did you see Law and Order last night?"
A: "Nah, I prefer the Shield".
B:"OK, I'll speak to you later".

Bear in mind that they are on the clock for 15 minutes, so they have 15 minutes to make pick 28. Chats about the weather and Law and Order are, therefore, not a great idea...

Coach B speaks to his scouts. They tell him that "um paleface with six horses has just gone through the pass and will be here in five minutes". I am quoting from outdated Westerns, rather than giving my own perspective on the indigenous American cultures. Please don't put a tomahawk in my head. Ooops, I did it again....

He then speaks to his NFL scouts. They say, "we like next year's lot better. Take those picks, cos Player B is soooo overrated and looks crap in Blue. He's a tosser, he gets into fights, beats up his girlfriend and made a Llama pregnant."

B:"(Trying to conceal howls of laughter). Well, as good as the players are at 28, we'll take your offer"
A: (Whoops of joy and high fives) "Hey, cool. Ciao".

Coach B has the better end of the deal. He's also picking at 28, with three Superbowls to his name and a history of picking good players. I know who I would trust.

The other thing about the draft is the hyped "can't miss" prospect. Bet your house on that, would you? No, and you bloody well shouldn't.

Tony Mandarich was a can't miss prospect. The Green Bay Packers took him with the second pick ages ago. I can't be arsed looking up the exact year.He missed all of the people that he was meant to be fending off his poor Quarterback and the next three picks were some of the best players of all time. Can't miss, my arse. Tony Mandarich missed his arse all the way out of the NFL with a very mediocre career behind him.

Then there's the "Who's the best top pick?" debate. In 1998, some liked a guy called Peyton Manning, a Quarterback. Others liked a guy called Ryan Leaf, also a Quarterback. It is the essential position on the team to get right.

They have to have chiselled features, look great in your colours, speak in words of more than one syllable and be able to sell stuff on telly. Oh, and they have to do American Football stuff, like throw a Rugby shaped ball 60 yards (for the scouts, although they don't do this much in the NFL), lead the team, memorise a huge playbook and get everyone else to do their jobs.

Ryan Leaf had "character issues". Oh yes. He took the fat pay cheque for being picked second, a lot of which was a signing bonus. This is standard practice but potentially bloody stupid. He took that signing bonus, which is his regardless, played crap for a bit, p*ssed off all and sundry along the way and left the NFL very quickly.

Peyton Manning was picked one place ahead of him, has since gone on to win a Superbowl and will go down as one of the best in history.

Paul Zimmerman of Sports Illustrated wrote, when comparing who was the better of the two:
"A paired entry, since they'll go one-two in the draft. Manning, poised, professional, heady, offers the quick fix for now. Leaf, with the bigger stature and bigger gun, shows greater untapped potential -- which, as we know, doesn't always pan out."

Of all the quirks of the draft, there is the player that all the teams miss. Tom Brady of the New England Patriots was picked in the SIXTH round of the 2000 draft. 198 players went ahead of him. He has been the Quarterback for a team that has won the Superbowl three times.

It's all just a crap shoot, really.